Texas – Part 2
After a while of saying Thank U, Next I finally secured a date with DeShaun. Due to him filling out my date questionnaire, I got the feeling he was serious about going on a date with me. I texted him thanking him and asking him when we could go out. When I told him I was available, he gave me food options for an early dinner: Tacos or Ramen. I never went to a Ramen restaurant before and I had tacos the other day before so I decided to try something new.
The Date
Before I arrived at the restaurant I talked to my Uber driver and he recommended I check out Pleasure Pier, just as my Lyft driver the other day suggested. I was really excited to go, but I needed to figure out if I would want to spend more time with him after dinner.
We met outside of Tiger’s Den, a ramen restaurant in Houston’s Chinatown. As we sat down at our table, we discussed my blog and he asked me questions about my blog. Before applying, he told me he read some of my posts, such as Dating with Social Anxiety. He also used to suffer from social anxiety as well, when he was over 200 pounds. He explained further saying he was worried about what people thought of him and as a result was anxious in social environments. I asked him why he made that huge lifestyle change. He answered saying he realized he wanted to be healthy to be a father. I found that admirable, as it really spoke to who he was.
I decided he seemed like a good enough guy to spend more time with and asked if he would be down to go to Pleasure Pier. He told me it would take an hour and a half to get there and suggested doing something else. I insisted that was the only place I was interested in going and he happily obliged. We took that hour and a half drive and continued talking during the ride.
During the ride, he shared stories of his best traveling experiences with his job. As he continued to speak he was slowly bothering me. When he talked it came off as he was trying to prove something. He kept talking about how great traveling is with his job, how he could pay his rent, and professing everything he could offer. I knew he was just trying to prove he was worth dating, but I knew he was; without him stating the obvious.
It was extremely foggy and a little chilly when we arrived at Pleasure Pier. I wish I could have seen the view during the day, but the view of the gulf was still captivating. I was being a bit uptight during the date, so I was excited to get on a fast ride. Unfortunately due to the weather, a majority of the rides were shut down. Luckily there was one fast spinning ride called Rock&Roll. It helped me to breathe and start loosening up. Afterward, we rode the carousel like we were kids, and grabbed a drink at the bar across the street.
DeShaun complimented me and professed his interest in dating a girl like me. I tried to be completely honest with DeShaun about the date. This was the first date since Alex and I ended. I explained how that made me a little closed off, during the date. I told him he talked too much and that I was not feeling a romantic connection with him as he clearly was. Even with my brutal honesty and not being my best self, he actually told me this was the best date he had been on. Surprised, I asked for further explanation. He simply said it was because I didn’t judge him
Be Open-minded
THEIR INTERESTS
I was understanding as I know many people can be a little judgmental and close-minded. He told me he was into comics and extremely into Wakanda. He had a Wakanda hat and jacket in his car. It didn’t bother me, it was clearly something he liked so why would I judge him. Apparently, girls would tell him that he would grow out his interest and it made him closed off the rest of the date. I try my best to not make anyone fill bad about who they are, so I was glad DeShaun saw that from me.
THEIR PAST
On ‘My List’ the top characteristic I look for in a guy is to be open-minded. I try to be as open-minded as possible and it actually has a lot of people open up to me. I’ve had a guy tell me on a first date that his brother was a meth addict. He was completely embarrassed by it, but he felt comfortable enough to keep telling me more because I didn’t judge. Another guy told me all about his past of getting in fights and going to jail multiple times as a teenager. Even though I led a completely opposite life, I just listened to his stories without judgment.
THEIR RACE
I am completely open to dating any race. As long as there are an attraction and chemistry I am open to it. One of my posts, The Struggles of Interracial Dating discuss my view of interracial dating. A married co-worker wishes she did experience dating outside of her race when she was younger. We get stuck on having a type, but dating is a numbers game so open up your door to more options.
So, the one thing to do to be a great date? BE OPENMINDED
Honestly, you should be open-minded in everyday life. When it comes to my friends they know they can tell me ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING and I won’t judge. I just listen, laugh, and share advice if needed. The same goes for strangers. In college, while I was sitting down at a table I had a guy profess his love for one of my classmates and I tried to help him actually ask her out. I had never talked to this guy in my life, but he just seemed to trust talking to me out of the gate and I listened.
The Dalai Lama said ‘An open heart is an open mind.’ The world would be a better place if you could talk to anyone without being judged. On your next date, try and be that person. Open your mind when you are dating, and you could open heart to someone special.
