Colorado – Part 3 of 3
So as I mentioned in a previous post, I had a date planned with Robert. Unfortunately, he has a heart problem and the week of our date he was put under observation. To be on the safe side we decided not to drive 100+ miles away to go to the hot springs in case any problems came up again. I actually ended up going by myself, before our dinner date.
I was looking forward to our date, and he kept telling me he was nervous. I thought it was adorable and tried to reassure him he had nothing to be nervous about. We greeted each other outside and like a gentleman, he opened the door for me to enter the restaurant. We were at Rae Gee, a Korean BBQ restaurant in Denver. We talked about what we were going to order and tried to figure out if we should try the Soju. The date was to an okay start, but after we ordered we spoke a few words and it seemed like he was ready to leave.
He was constantly checking his phone and watching the football game on television. We talked for a few months on Snapchat and he seemed like a sweet guy, so I was confused about why he was acting the way he did. When he went to the restroom I racked my brain trying to figure what could be the problem, and then it came to me. When he came back from the restroom I asked him ‘Are you still nervous?’
Finally Understanding
He responded saying he’s always nervous. I was so shocked by his response, I thought I was doing my best to make him feel comfortable. He told me he has social anxiety so any kind of social interactions makes him anxious. I continued to ask questions to understand how he deals with it. He apologized for not giving me any eye contact but assured me he was listening. He feels like a black sheep in his family and with his social anxiety, he feels left out in the world. He avoids going out so he doesn’t have to interact with anyone, but when he does he goes to the museum by himself. I even asked for his to-go box, because he was nervous to ask the waiter himself.
I never understood people who suffer from anxiety, but I know so many people deal with this problem. My old friend would always get anxious before a date, and would always ask me to keep her company and I never got it. Going on a date with a guy that suffers from social anxiety gave me some perspective. I immediately thought he was being a bad date based on his actions. When I started asking questions I was more understanding.
I know that everyone can’t be as social as an extrovert. I am an introvert and dating brought me out of my comfort zone. When I was younger I was always so scared to ask people questions, I would get my little sister to ask for me. For the people that don’t have any problems being social, you’re lucky. Next time you go on a date be understanding and ask question because you know never know what they could be going through.
Social Anxiety Dating Tips
I have no idea how it is to date with social anxiety, so below are a couple of articles with some advice. If you suffer from social anxiety please leave a comment with your own tips and stories.
