If you have not watched one episode of the CBS show This is Us you’re really are missing out. Regardless of who you are this show can truly touch you. The most recent episode had some focus on some struggles that comes with interracial relationships. This episode touched me because I am open to interracial dating. If you are down for the swirl I suggest you watch it too!

The first dating app I ever tried was Tinder. At that time the majority of the guys on the app were white and I swiped right on plenty of them. To my surprise I got matches… I honestly never thought a white guy would be interested in me but with a simple right swipe I realized my dating pool expanded to guys of all races. In a few days I’ll be starting my 50 Dates in 50 States journey and I stated I would be open to all races. I’ve already experienced interracially dating and also have friends and family that are in interracial relationships.  Dating is hard and relationships can be work, but when it’s interracial there are certain struggles.

Wondering If You’re More Than a Fetish

As women we are already sexualized, but being a black women we are perceived as a huge conquest for non black guys. The messages I receive on dating apps have been: “I’ve always wanted to be with a black girl” or they ask if my butt is the stereotypical ‘black girl a**’. I can scroll past these kind of messages, but when I actually find a decent guy to go on a date there’s always a question in the back of my mind. 

Are they interested in me as a person or are they interested just because I’m black?

Dealing With the Looks & Judgements

When I first mention my dating preference to my black guy friends they sort of look down on me as if  I’m abandoning my own race. Interracial relationship are a lot more accepting these days, but there is still a stigma. Me and my sister have both experienced the judgmental looks we get from people when we’re on a date with a white guy. I’ve heard similar comments such as “White men have taken everything from us including our women”. When you’re dating someone in private you can completely forget that race plays a part in the relationship. When you step outside and are reminded prejudice still exists in this world.

Having the Perspective of Another Race

In this era of Black Lives Matter and President Trump we continually see racism that still exists in this country. Luckily we also see people of all races defending people of color. Whether you’re a white person that dates a black person or have black friends you can never really truly know how it feels to be black and sometimes this can be an obstacle. One of my friend’s told me that was literally the only concern she had in her interracial relationship. She would always have to point out when his friends unknowingly made racist comments. When your’e with someone of your own race you don’t have to explain these kind of issues. There’s already a mutual understanding because they have the perspective of a black person. It’s easy to explain how black hair works, but it’s tough having to inform your partner what it is to be black. If you love someone enough and they are willing to learn and understand it’s worth the struggle.

June 2, 1967 the ban on interracial marriage ended with the decision of Loving vs Virginia. This ruling was a huge step to the progressiveness of the United States. Lately I’ve seen more interracial relationships in commercials and tv shows. It really shows more of a representation of the world. It may seem like this world is filled with hate and prejudice, but every interracial couple I see walking down the street gives me hope. Yea they’ll probably make cute babies, but they’ll also make our world better, because what better way to unite the world then by uniting our races through love. 

United we stand, divided we fall

Aesop