Sometime last year, my coworker said “I can’t wait to see who you end up married to…” a couple hours later a friend makes a similar comment. This day was pretty great just being told this, but the conversation with my friend turned into a different one.

He continued to discuss my great qualities like my personality, my kindness, and my openness but then mentioned that a couple things could be perfected” or as he stated I need to bring ‘my inner swan’ out.

I pressed him to explain his thoughts. I was astonished when he mentioned I should get a weave/straighten my hair. He continued his argument saying I should let his girlfriend do my makeup one night. After listening to all he had to do say I had to put him in his place. This friend hasn’t seen me all put together because I’m usually with him to work on a project. So yes usually I’m in yoga pants and a hoodie or shorts and a tee when I’m around him so I may not seem as amazing in those times.

Being a black girl hair is always a huge topic. Should you straighten it? Get a weave? Perm it? Or maybe even shave it all off? I’ve tried everything…except for shave my hair off!  In regards to my hair and its texture, the full closure weaves break off my hair. I sweat and workout too much to maintain my hair straightened. I’ve settled with what works for either have my short natural hair or braids and once every blue moon a wig.

In regards to makeup, I didn’t start wearing makeup till I reached college. My mom didn’t wear makeup so I had a few friends that taught me the basics after highschool. Through trial and error, I figured out what worked best for me. When I really want show out I’ll put on lipstick, blush, stick foundation, and sometimes eyeliner, but not put on a full face. I have no judgment towards girls that do, but I know what I’m most comfortable with.

This conversation I had really infuriated me, because as much as I may seem like a great future partner apparently I still wasn’t enough. On the plus side, this conversation also showed how confident I was in myself. Being a black girl you grow up wanting to fit in and have straight hair. Being a girl you feel like you have to cover up all your imperfections with makeup. I’ve experienced just a little bit of life and I know what I am comfortable with. I don’t have to wear makeup all the time and if I wanted to wear my hair straight all the time I wouldn’t be able to maintain my workout life, that keeps me looking good.

As long as you have a kind heart, are comfortable with yourself and know who you are as a person you are more than enough.

No one is ever going to be perfect. Whether it’s the size of your butt or how long your hair is. In the dating world, we have some many options and think we have to be perfect to match with someone. As long as you have a kind heart, are comfortable with yourself and know who you are as a person you are more than enough.