In this online dating world ghosting is a common thing you come across of whether you’ve been ghosting or have been the one ghosted. You can spend a lot time with someone and start liking them and they completely disappear. I’ve felt the feelings for ghosting from both sides and it sucks.
So what should you do if you have been ghosted?
DO NOT keep texting for days
Being ghosted comes out of know where, you don’t usuallt expect it. A million scenarios will run through your head… maybe they got in an accident, maybe they lost there phone. Sorry to break it to you but there’s a 90% chance they are unharmed and see every text you are sending… so blowing up there phone is not going to change their mind but just allow them to legitimize ghosting you. I’m guilty of ghosting guys and they will send a text day after day. Just take the message
DO text one more time the next day.
Only do this to make sure they are okay. After they haven’t texted you for 48hrs you can come to the conclusion you have been ghosted. I think it’s best to just stop trying to reach out to them after that. There was a guy that stood me up and ghosted me right before our third date. I texted him a couple times to verify the date, but no response. The next day I went to work and continued to worry about him, assuming those crazy scenarios must have happened. To just ensure he was safe I sent one text:
I'm worried about you, please just let me know you are okay
Guess what!? He texted and let me know he was okay and actually let me know why he ghosted – he was still hurting from his last relationship. I completely understood and left him alone. A couple weeks later he actually reached back out to me and wanted to try us again. Long story short, he stood me up again…
DO NOT try and get in contact with them on social media.
They ghosted you, don’t stalk them and try to slide into their DMs they most likely still won’t answer. There is something you can do if you really want to know why they ghosted though.
DO call the Jeff and Jenn Show.
The Jeff and Jenn Show is my favorite radio station I listen to when I am driving to work in the morning. One of their segments is called Ghost Hunting,and they call the person that ghosted you and ask them why they ghosted. Need to figure out why you were ghosted? Call them up! You’d be surprised by the crazy reasons people have ghosted.
DO NOT blame yourself.
I know once we come to the conclusion that we have been ghosted we instantly think it’s something that we have done. You’ll go through all your texts and try and figure out if it was something you said. You go through ever second of your last date and figure out if it was something weird you did.
DO realize that it happened for the best.
Even if you do figure out on your own why they ghosted what will it do for you? This person chose to leave your life without discussing it with you, what hope of a relationship do you really have? They aren’t meant for you if you said or did something they don’t like. If you were being rude to the waiter, you may need to fix that though.
Remember these Do’s and Don’ts if you’ve been ghosted, and keep putting yourself out there. If you’ve done the ghosting try giving a simple explanation next time. I know it’s easier to ghost someone, because you don’t have to deal with their feelings. Put yourself in the other person’s shoe, I promise that honest closure is better than disappearing.
